My Trip to America is not as Expected
by daytonanerd
Summary: Somehow, out of some strange circumstances and a teacher with some underhanded methods, Hachiman and Yukino are going to America. Join them in their epic quest in living and experiencing such a different culture than their own, and how they'll adjust with it together. And some comedy along the way.
1. On That Day

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 1: On that day, the Cherry Blossoms Came Late**

* * *

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. **(1)**

Shouldn't this be the time where the cherry blossoms flutter in the air, the scene where the two lovers kiss, and thus, they end their tale, basked in the warm light of a glorious spring?

Alas, this is not the case.

The cherry blossoms are late this year. All that flutters in the air is the aura of discontent and uncertainty.

That same old spring myth keeps 'round and 'round in my head, and yet, I know, it is something that I'll never partake in. That simply is destiny. And yet, for some reason, I cling on to this childish hope, vainly.

On my doorstep is the last vestige of the tale that has been perpetrated by crappy romance novels and anime over and over again. Yukino Yukinoshita, the girl that I somehow came to believe I love out of the strangest of conditions, is now staring at me. Shocking to me was the small amount of water that was welling up in her eyes.

Yet, even I know that this facet of that common dream is yet another corrupt fantasy. For I know that Yukino Yukinoshita has made the decision that I wished to give to her, and the decision is that of the end of our relationship.

Sure, I have ended relationships before. Such was the reality of being a lifelong loner. However frail they may be, the harshest of maneuvers must be taken to break them. And yet, for the first time in my life, I am actually hurt by this relationship ending. I guess this time, it was because I wasn't the one who ended the relationship, but it was the woman sitting on that doorstep, making a face I didn't know how to interpret, that has struck me down.

Perhaps this is punishment by whatever God of Karma that has decided that I most atone for my hedonistic lifestyle.

 _'That's a load of crap.'_

 _'I know.'_

And yet, besides my mind telling me otherwise, I still somehow clung to the idea that this was some kind of righteous retribution.

Finally, to snap me out of my circular, dreary line of thinking that I entertained myself with, Yukino spoke.

"So... Hikigaya-kun... How did you reach your conclusion?"

This sentence seemed like one that was pretty clear-cut. She wanted to know why I would leave the Service Club, out of my own mouth, and that I genuinely meant it. But I thought about it for an extra sentence... She said she wanted to know how I reached my conclusion. Now, of the two optional letters I left, I keep thinking back to the one I wrote, in which I said that I loved her. It said that that was the conclusion I reached.

 _'Does that mean...'_

Most likely not. Chances are, that it was just a coincidence. That the phrasing was unintentional.

However...

Now, the possibility couldn't be eliminated that she read the confession letter, that that was the option she had chosen.

I have read and watched too many romance stories in which the main guy misinterprets what the girl is saying, and because of that, any chance of a relationship is shot down. I will not make that mistake. I know that the chances are slim, but damn it all if I'm going to destroy my only chance at keeping this relationship!

So that meant that my reply should be as ambiguous as possible. Something that could pertain to her reading either of the letters. Chances are, in some, fashion, she'll say something that reveals what letter she chose.

"Well... It happened in one night."

Yes, that response works. It works in the context of being a found love, and also as a realization that I shouldn't stay in the Service Club anymore.

 _'The ball's in your court, Yukino.'_

Maybe now, she'd reveal it. But she managed to counter it with another statement that could pertain to either of the possible outcomes.

"How did you come to realize that's what needed to be done in such a swift amount of time? Chances are, you haven't thought it through too much. I mean, are you certain that this is what you want?"

 _'Damn it! You sure aren't making this easy.'_

"I realized that there was no purpose in avoiding what the future holds. That's why I did what I had to do. I realized that this was the only way to ensure that we both get the future we want."

This serving back and forth, like a game of tennis, is infuriating. It's like spending 7 Days in Hell. **(2)**

 _'Damn it, come on! Just tell me what you chose! What you want!'_

"Then what is it, then, Hachiman? What is it that you want? What is it that you want the future to hold? It's your future after all. Why leave it up to me?"

 _'Oh.'_

I just realized it then. There was only one reason that things were turning out the way they are now.

She had to have read both letters.

Yes, now we were stuck in this quagmire of not knowing what the other wants. I wanted to leave the choice up to Yukino, hence, why I left both letters. But she seems to have deferred. She wants me to make the choice for what happens to the future. Through all my attempts of trying to avoid responsibility, of letting others decide which wave I will be swept up upon, I now am the only one who can break this endless dancing around the problem. I now was responsible for everything that would happen, whether it be abandoning everything I've ever known about how I live my life, or hurting Yukino.

'She called me by my first name... Consciously...'

Yes, I now knew what I wanted. I decided that it was time to stop dodging, avoiding the tough, awkward positions, and give it my best shot, no matter how much it hurts my pride.

That's why...

"Because it is not just my future, Yukino. I didn't want to drag you along into a future where we were forever placed in an awkward, uncomfortable, and utterly frustrating experience where we participate in a shell of what our relationship had been. At the same time, I decided that if you did want the future that I wanted, a path that hasn't been traveled by me, the terminal loner, I wouldn't deny you that. If I am to choose what future is best, what we want out of it, then the path I choose is-"

I was interrupted by my lips interacting with that of Yukino's.

My brain crashed.

 _'wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-'_

She broke away.

"I choose you, Hachiman. That's my decision, what I want. And you're just going to have to live with that."

I couldn't help but smile, with what felt like fire blood coming up to my head, and my heart feeling like it was about to break my ribs.

"That's alright. I think I can live with this."

Yes. I loved the Gods of Romantic Comedies. **(3)**

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, this chapter pretty much ties up what happened in the oneshot this is a sequel to, and allows us to move on ahead with our voyage to the land of McCapitalism. It's light on humor, but hopefully, I'll make up for it next chapter.**

 **Next chapter, I will introduce one of my favorite characters in Oregairu into the fray. Thanks for reading, and see you soon!**

 **(1)** : The opening line of the greatest dystopian novel of all time, '1984' by George Orwell. And also, the clock striking thirteen works, apparently, because Japan kind of operates on 24-hour military time.

 **(2):** A reference to the humorous HBO mockumentary they just came out with, '7 Days in Hell', and it is bloody hilarious.

 **(3):** This time, a reference to the closing line of '1984'. I dare won't say what the original sentence was, because I dare not spoil it.


	2. They Participated

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 2: They Participated in Robbery**

* * *

It had been five months since the day when Yukino and I first found out our true feelings for each other.

 _'Shit. I forgot to pick up an anniversary gift yesterday.'_

Well, I'm not going to give myself too hard of a time over the mistake. We're hard at work in our third year of high school, and the last before college.

 _'I'm sure she'll understand... Right?'_

Well, if she doesn't, then I'm sure I'll make it up to her somehow.

 _'Ugh... I'll probably have to cook...'_

 _'Damn it Hachiman, you're a boyfriend now! Get your shit together, and take care of your girlfriend! You're lucky you have one, you know, and that it's someone as Yukino..._ '

A warm smile came across my face

"Oi! Hachiman!"

It was Hiratsuka-sensei. Fuck. She was lecturing.

"I don't bust my ass making lesson plans and dealing with damn standardized test requirements for you to daze off and smile at the bloody inspirational posters I have hanging around the room! You stay after class today, because I have to talk some sense into you!

"Yes, Sensei."

Hiratsuka-sensei had a grin that mixed triumph and mischief plastered on her face.

 _'Devil Woman...'_

I say that with the highest sense of affection, of course. As much as I hated to admit it, Hiratsuka-sensei was there for me sense last year, and without her, I would have never really met and Yukino, and right now would probably...

You know what? Nothing has REALLY changed in my school life sense me and Yukino started dating.

Sure, I'd spend my lunches with her in the clubroom, and I occasionally got some strange looks from the other boys of both my year and younger. I mean, I got some strange looks before, but usually, they were more of disgust. Now, there's also this strange twinge of.. envy? Yeah, I think it's envy.

Really, I think the most out-of-the-ordinary thing happened right around when we got back from summer break, a couple weeks back, but it wasn't really that major... It was something like...

"Hey, you! Yeah, you!"

Those words coming from Hayato Hayama(Or whatever order his name goes in, depending on if you use first name-last name(Like America) or last name-first name(Like Japan), as I was walking away from his direction in a, conveniently for the story's sake, empty courtyard. I turned back towards him.

On his face was a look infused with rage, but a bit of weeping sadness was sprinkled in as well.

"I can't believe you. I have been working on my plan FOR YEARS to FINALLY show Yukino that we were right for each other! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME, DAMN IT! And you went in and DESTROYED EVERYTHING!"

He was seething with greater rage than a watcher right at around Episode 11 or 12 of School Days. I responded back with

"You know, Hayama, you really were never a player in the game."

"What... WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

"I mean... Honestly? You called what you have been doing these past few years 'working on your plan'? You weren't ANYWHERE close to getting into your heart. Yet, it took me less than a year to go from her Public Enemy No. 1 to her boyfriend. How does that feel?"

Yes, I relished a bit in that moment. After all, why wouldn't I? I had been waiting for a VERY long time to bring Hayama down a peg.

"I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU, HIKIGAYA!"

Yes, I had unlocked years of trauma and tension that was brewing in his heart. Perfect.

"Good luck with that." I responded, then walked away. We haven't talked since. Though really, there was never any real reason to ever talk to him in the first place.

Really, the thing that has changed things up around the school the most is Yui not being here.

* * *

I went over to Hiratsuka-sensei's office, and when I walked in, I was surprised with Yukino being there as well.

"Yukino? Oh no. Don't tell me she got you too."

"Relax, Hachiman. Hiratsuka-sensei merely invited me here to have a discussion."

"Yeah, I figured that Yukino here wouldn't need as much coaxing as you, so I let her off easy by just paying her a visit in the morning, as opposed to me publicly humiliating you."

"That was unnecessary."

"On the contrary, I agree with Hiratsuka-sensei that public humiliation was the only logical option in your case."

"I love you too, dear."

That was enough to get Yukino to physically recoil a bit.

 _'Mission accomplished.'_

"ANYWAYS, the reason I brought both of you here is to discuss an opportunity that has recently come up. Remember about a month ago, when I walked into the Service Club room?"

My memory flashed back to that time. Yukino and I were there, you know... Doing what couples do... WHICH IS(Ahem...) discussing what we were going to do that Saturday night, as I held Yukino in my arms. Right at that moment, Hiratsuka-sensei walked in.

"So you two haven't had any req-... What?"

Yeah... We kind of neglected to tell her that we were in a relationship...

"Oh... I see... Even you... Hachiman... Can find..."

She started sniffling, and the tears of depression were welling up in her eyes.

"Someone... To love..."

She lost it, and ran right out of the room.

"Yukino, do we go after her?"

"Eh, I'm sure she'll be fine."

It turns out Hiratsuka-sensei got mad plastered at the bar that night, and had such a bad hangover that she skipped school for the next week.

I gave a grin at the memory. Hiratsuka-sensei was not pleased.

"Hachiman, I swear, you're going to feel more burns from my Zippo lighter than my pack of cigarettes. ANYWAYS, the POS guy I had met that night and dated for a few weeks had these two tickets to America for over a month."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and that's what led to us breaking up. I heard him talking on the phone with some girl how he'd go on the trip with her. He said it was his estranged daughter he was talking to. I called bullshit, took the tickets, and ran."

"But the tickets have names on them, right?"

"Well, they DID. They also had the login info on them written by that idiot. So I logged in, changed the names in the website, and printed out new ones.

 _'SNEAKY, Hiratsuka-sensei...'_

"What I'm trying to say is, you two are going to America."

"Wait... What?"

Yukino and I were stunned silent, our mouths just gaping wide open. Hiratsuka-sensei continued.

"I already talked to both of your parents about this, and they approved."

Yukino gave a look of hard skepticism.

"I somehow doubt that. My parents wouldn't be the kind of people who'd agree to something like that on the spot."

"On the contrary, Yukino, your parents enthusiastically approved the trip, mentioning something about 'Pumping up the deflating Japanese birth rate'."

Yukino looked away in embarrassment.

"Damn it, dad." she muttered.

"And Hachiman..."

Hiratsuka-sensei displayed a devilish grin that rivaled that of Lelouch vi Britannia. **(1)**

"Well, I don't want to embarrass you too much. After all, we still need you coming to school."

 _'Thank the Gods, in all of their mercy'_

"But wait..." I started "Don't we have university entrance exams around this time?"

"Don't worry, I've got everything taken care of."

"That doesn't put me as ease, though... That's our fut-"

"I SAID I have everything taken care of. Don't press me on this, Hachiman. Trust me. Alright, you two are dismissed."

As we walked away, I heard Hiratsuka-sensei mutter something like:

"They're characters in a fanfiction.. Don't they realize that things like this are taken care of to further the plot?"

I don't think I heard her right.

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah, this one came a tad bit late, because this chapter was originally planned to be pinned to the first chapter. However, I felt like that would be too bif of an emotional whiplash in the same chapter. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! It's amazing to look at the viewing statistics and seeing all of these people from other countries reading the story! Of course, the USA has the biggest viewership, but the Philippines also has a rather large following, as well as Indonesia, Canada, Malaysia, Mexico, Germany, Australia, and a whole host of other countries, too! Thank you all, I really appreciate you guys reading, reviewing, etc. Have a great day, and see you next chapter.**

 **Also, I try to reply to reviews, to keep in contact on what you all think and are looking forward to. Thanks!**

 **(1): From Code Geass, the main character is Lelouch vi Britannia, known for having this...** ** _Fabulous_** **devilish grin.**


	3. Thoughts of Patricide

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 3: While They Considered Patricide...**

* * *

We were on our way to the station, and I took another look at Yukino. She had this look of steely determination. The progression of the shape of her face had been quite fascinating since we left the school.

At first, it was a look of sheer embarrassment, most definitely because of the remarks Hiratsuka-sensei shared from Yukino's father.

Then, it became a look of a kind of pondering, thinking, scheming...

Finally, it became that determined look, and knowing Yukino, she was pretty hellbent on whatever it was she was planning to do.

 _'Wait... What is she planning to do?'_

Potential thoughts ran through my head. What could possibly be the result, the reasoning, for these faces of Yukino? Then, it all made sense.

 _'Oh God... She's planning to kill her father. Oh God no.'_

"Hachiman."

Yukino broke the silence that had been maintained between us since we had left the school.

 _'Shit, she wants me to help out in the murder. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm too young to kill people. I haven't leveled up my assassin skills. Please, any excuse, God, please take it!'_

"I'm going to teach you English."

 _'Oh shit, so she confir-'_

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you're going to have to learn English, and I hate to break it to you, but the English they teach over at school just won't cut it."

"Wait... So you're telling me that you weren't just now thinking of ways to commit patricide, but were thinking that you need to teach me English?"( **A/N: Yes, I really just wanted to use the word 'Patricide' in a sentence.** )

"What? No! Believe me Hachiman, if it were viable to kill my father, I would have done it a long time ago."

"I... Don't know whether I should be glad or genuinely frightened."

"Sigh... Hachiman, clearly you know nothing about girls. A girl's dream, the constant thought that runs throughout their head, is the most efficient way to kill their father. I figured it out and had it down pat when I was 11. Unfortunately, father is the main, really, only source of income in the family. Mother blows a great deal of money on shiny diamond necklaces and attractive yard boys. And Haruno... She hemorrhages money so badly that she could probably revitalize Greece's economy just by taking a visit there. Needless to say, if I were to kill my father, we'd be out on the street in, oh, I don't know... A month, at my most conservative guess. And that's only if the others stick to only eating ramen, which, knowing them, would be the equivalent of trying to get a cat away from a ball of yarn."

"Wow... You really did put a lot of thought into this, didn't you? But I'm pretty sure Komachi doesn't think about ways to kill our father constantly."

"Well, your sister is a... Special kind of girl, and your dad is out of the picture so much in your lives that she probably doesn't see him enough to harbor any resentment towards him."

"What... Did you say about Komachi?"

"Anyways, back to the subject at hand, you need to learn English."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. I know English perfectly fine."

"Oh REALLY, Hachiman. Fine. Let's put it to the test."

"Wait, what"

 **ENGLISH MODE ON**

"Hello sir, welcome to MgRonald's, how may I take your order?" **(1)**

"Ahh... Ano..."

"Alright, maybe that's too difficult for someone without the menu. Ask me a question. Any question."

"Anata wa ittai nani o itte iru, on'na?!"

"C'mon... I know you can do it."

"W... Wa..."

"Getting closer..."

"Watashi wa hara o tate kanari kuso shutoku shite imasu!"

"Sigh..."

 **ENGLISH MODE OFF**

"See, Hachiman? You'll be torn up in America."

"Nonsense, I'm sure there will be a great amount of accommodation for Japanese speakers like me. After all, that's how it is here in Japan, right?"

"That's completely wrong. In America, there is about no accommodation for foreigners except in tourist traps, and even then, there's no accommodation for Japanese people. The most you'll find is probably at a currency exchange and terrible Japanese restaurant rip-offs."

"Sigh... Wait, why do you seem to be set on going to America, after all? The tickets, at best, are an offer. I'm sure they'll understand if we turned it down. And how do you know so much about America?"

"Well, I don't see a problem with going. It'll just be me and you, and it'll be a fun time. We haven't had such a great opportunity in our relationship so far, and I'd like to seize on it. To your second question, I have visited America about a half-dozen times, because Japan-Mart is in America."

"Japan... Mart?"

"Yeah, that's my dad's business."

"Wait, your dad owns a retail business in America?"

"Well, he is the CEO, but yeah, that's basically his business."

"So... What does this 'Japan-Mart' sell?"

"Look, the short and simple answer is 'Everything Japanese'. I'll explain what Japan-Mart is in full at some other point, alright? It's a long story."

"Fine." **(2)**

"Stop dancing around the subject, Hachiman. I'm teaching you English. And that's that."

"Why wouldn't I just go to some kind of school in Tokyo for that?"

"Because those bastards will only try to keep you there as long as you can, and squeeze as much money out of you as they can. We don't have very much time, and you DEFINITELY don't have very much money."

"I dispute that last charge."

"Tell that to your 'Breakfast of Champions', InstaRamen."

"Hey, InstaRamen may be cheap, but it is pretty high quality. Besides, my meals in the other parts of the day more than make up for my inexpensive breakfast."

"Your 'family tradition' of eating just mashed potatoes every weeknight would care to disagree with you. Look, we all know that you're undeniably probably the poorest kid I know. So, you have no choice but to learn English from me if you want to make it to America."

"Sigh... How do you plan on teaching me English in the span of about two months?"

"Oh, that's simple."

"Oh really? And what's your plan?"

She gave a joyous grin.

"We're going to do a montage."

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, this chapter came later than I wanted or expected. I can give various excuses. Some of the time was spent on me thinking of the background story for Japan-Mart(See Below at Point #2). Some of it was spent petting a cat. Some of it was spent figuring out how the damn 'English Mode' would work. Some of it was spent crying over how pitiful some of these translations were going to be, since I got them straight from Google Translate. Regardless, I finally got to you guys a chapter, and I hope you guys enjoy it. Not too much plot going on, but it does set up the immediate goal for our characters in the story. Take that as you may. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **(1): A reference to 'The Devil is a Part-Timer'**

 **(2): Since I see no scenario in which I can work in Japan-Mart's background into the story without it utterly derailing the story, I am just going to tell it right here, right now:**

 **The year was 2008. Kunchiro Yukinoshita(Baller Japanese name made right on the spot) was just your average salaryman, working for a mediocre wage to support his wife and two daughters. He decided to go to America because he happened to catch some broadcast of Fox News in Japan, and figured "This country must be great." He got a plane ticket by winning a game of poker with some Irish immigrants(3), and picked up a cheap travel English book. With this knowledge, he was able to watch the plane movie broadcast of 'Rocky' with the same amount of understanding that Sylvester Stallone had. The line "Do you believe that America is the Land of Opportunity?" stuck with him.**

 **He got out of the plane and walked right into the streets of New York City, after paying out the ass for a taxi. He saw the economic ruin that America was in. This was epitomized when he saw a Circuit City, about to be closed.**

 **He had a great idea.**

 **He went back to America, and went back to his employers at Mitsubishi.**

 **He said, right to the face of the executives of Mitsubishi:**

 **"Why don't we buy all the dirt-cheap Circuit Cities in America, pull every Japanese company's products off the shelves of American stores, and sell them only at our stores? The Japan-Mart!"**

 **Nobody clapped at first. Then, it began with a slow clap from the CEO. The clapping became viral. Kunchiro Yukinoshita was looked at like a God. Everyone thought that this was a great idea. Everyone, from Toyota to Toshiba, participated, selling their products exclusively at Japan-Mart.**

 **Kunchiro Yukinoshita was made CEO of Japan-Mart because everyone thought his idea was baller, and he must be some kind of boss.**

 **Japan-Mart became the second biggest retailer in America, and they managed to buy out Target. Wal-Mart was the last company in Japan-Mart's way of domination of America...**

 **(3): Titanic.**


	4. Abusing Time

**My Trip to America is not as Expected**

 **Chapter 4: In their Abuse of Time...**

* * *

"A... Montage?"

That... Certainly wasn't the answer I was expecting from Yukino, the infinitely practical one. Surely, she wouldn't cling to childlike delusions such as things magically being fixed by montages... Right? Or perhaps she has relapsed somehow, and is now displaying symptoms of Chuunibyou **(1)**.

"Yes, a montage. I know it sounds a bit unconventional, but I believe it is the best solution we have to our dilemma."

I couldn't help but scoff.

"Unconventional? Try unrealistic! Montages don't exist. They're just plot devices used by Hollywood movies to move the story along and entertain us as our protagonist makes an incredible amount of progress in a song-length period of time."

Yukino gave out a sigh.

"I should have known that you, the master of pessimism and getting constantly proven wrong, would doubt the existence of montages. You just never bothered to learn the art of it."

"Yukino, now you're just screwing with me. If montages existed, I, and the rest of the world, would have noticed by now, and kids in college wouldn't constantly be getting high off coffee and Adderall just to get a C in their Ethics class."

"Well of course nobody would notice a montage happening, because the montage is only evident to the subject of the montage. Everything goes normal speed to the surrounding players."

"My question is still on the table. If they existed, wouldn't it have been common knowledge by now?

"No. The montage only shows itself to those that choose to believe, and are deemed worthy."

"So... Basically, for montages to exist for a person... You have to basically be in a cult devoted to montages?"

"There are less extreme ways to attain its power. The Scientologists believe that more devotion to montages will grant them that power. Unfortunately for them, they wasted a lot of time, because you don't have to devote such time to it, and any time would be a waste if you are a shitty human being."

I was in awe. Sure, I thought my girlfriend('So weird to call her that, still...') still had a loose screw in her head at the moment, but she delivered a damn good and well deserved roasting of Scientology.

"Alright then, so what do you have to in order to believe in montages and be a decent human being by the standard of montage gods?"

"Well, the simplest way, and the way I did it, was to watch the Rocky movies."

"The... Rocky movies?"

"Yeah."

"As in... The old American movies where the guy who talked funny became super roided-up and fought either black people or the Soviet Union? THOSE Rocky Movies?"

"Yep."

I lost my composure a bit.

Just a _littttle_ bit.

By that, I mean that I was on the floor, laughing my ass off, and screaming high pitched sounds that I thought had left me by 6th grade.

"Hah... Hah... Yukino... You know... HAHAHA! You almost got me there, you know! Rocky movies giving montage powers! Bwahahaha!"

"Oh shut up, Hachi-kun."

"I mean.. pfffftt. I'm sorry. I can't stop laughing. If you just wanted me to be integrated with the English language by using American movies, then you could have just said so. But this... HAHAHAHAH!"

"I can't tell if you're laughing this hard because you're honestly humored or you're trying to provoke some kind of rage out of me."

"Alright. Fine, Yukino-sensei. I'll accept your request to watch movies with you."

"Sigh... If you want to live in denial of the truth, that's fine. It'll hit you at some point, though, I promise you that. Also, never call me that again."

* * *

Yukino had the Rocky movies at her place, so we went over there to watch.

"Are we going to turn subtitles on?"

"It depends. Are you going to accept that montages are a real thing?"

"Hell no!"

"Well there's your answer. Now sit your ass down and watch the movie."

Of course, we started with the first Rocky movie, the DVD box cover of which had the American dude looking like he got mugged over not paying the Yakuza **(2)**.

And so began the journey of watching the Rocky movies.

The moments just flew by. Apollo finding a challenger, which turned out to be Rocky. That fat guy creepily asking "Do you believe America is the Land of Opportunity?" Rocky and Apollo beating the shit out of each other. Rocky and Adrian falling into that old popular deception of marriage and committing the worst sin of all: Childbirth. Rocky and Apollo beating the shit out of each other again. A bullshit 10-count. The old dude dying out of sheer excitement of seeing Mr. T. Mr. T beating the shit out of Rocky. Apollo deciding to help out the guy he has no established friendship with in order for his own nefarious purposes. Homoerotic hugs. Rocky beating the shit out of Mr. T. Russian Aryan beating the LIVING SHIT out of Apollo and killing him. Rocky singlehandedly doing what no baseball pitcher could do in the 90's, and beat the roided-up athlete(3).

I steadily began to understand the terrible English Stallone used in writing these damn movies as the time went on.

All of these moments, and ringing throughout my ears was 80's synth-rock.

In fact, the whole experience of watching these movies seems like it all happened in a couple of minutes.

 _'Wait..._

 _No..._

 _Don't tell me..._

 _This can't be happening...'_

"I'm in a montage, aren't I?!" I cried out, as the credits of the fourth movie was rolling.

"Wait, you were montaging? That's amazing, considering you never believed in them... I am thoroughly impressed with you for once, Hachi-kun."

"We have to see if this is for real. We need to watch the next movie."

"Oh, no... Please. You don't need to see it. Really."

"Why not? I mean, I know these movies have gone shittier in the logic department as the movies progressed. The fifth one can't be much relatively worse."

"Actually, it can, and it is. I really urge you not to watch the next movie. It will destroy any good impression you had of this franchise."

"Well, good thing I have no good impressions of this franchise."

I might have been a bit harsh... Yukino got a bit mad at that. But we must find out if this montage power was real.

Hastily, I put Rocky V into the DVD Player( **A/N: This line should never be said by any human being. You never look forward to seeing Rocky V. Rocky V should only occur when you watch a Rocky Marathon on cable and the fifth one just happens to show up.** ).

* * *

I knew that the movie would be bad. I didn't know it would be bad enough to put an expression on my face comparable to that of Kevin in Home Alone.

"See? I told you that this movie was no good. Luckily, I am numb from the pain of this movie due to having seen it during all of my father's forced Rocky marathons."

"Wow, Yukino... I honestly feel empty. I feel like a hole has been carved inside me by this movie. It is just that shitty. This movie is honestly the worst thing to happen to American Cinema not counting Michael Bay's existence."

"Well, then we're in an ideal position then to start your learning of English."

"Wait, what?"

"We're going to fill that void to the brim with arcane English grammar rules and spellings. Are you ready?"

"Oh God, I'm not."

"You're going to have to montage it though."

"How the hell do I do that intentionally?"

"Well, I usually do it by thinking of some '80's bass-heavy song. Tell me the song you'll pick, so we'll be able to montage it together."

"Is that how montaging works?"

"I have no clue. Let's try it."

It took me a minute to think of a song. Then, I hummed the bass line of 'Under Pressure' **(4)** out loud.

"You better be humming 'Under Pressure' and not 'Ice Ice Baby'. So help me God..."

Then, she hummed the bass line as well.

Thus began our montage, our English learning, and our butchering of Freddie Mercury and David Bowie's singing.

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah, I procrastinated SO much on this chapter, and I really apologize. I had an idea of what I'd do with this chapter for a while, but I didn't put it to type until just now.**

 **I will say that I have spent this time observing the craziness of my country's politics(See: Donald Trump) and getting sucked in by a great Oregairu 8manxShizuka story by Lose called 'Maturity'. You all should check it out. He's a much better and more timely writer than me.**

 **The readership this month, August, even without me putting a chapter out yet, was fantastic! Thank you all for reading, as well as favoriting and following. I also really love and appreciate your reviews!**

 **Thank you all so, so, so, so, so very much, and see you next chapter!**

( **1): A double reference, here. Chuunibyou is what you'd call the 8th grade syndrome, as it was called in this anime, which Hachiman was shown to have, and Zaimokuza still does have. It also refers to the anime by Kyoto Animation 'Love, Chuunibyou & Other Delusions' which expounds on this topic quite a bit more than Oregairu did. I'll let you take this reference any way you will.**

 **(2): I would hope that this wouldn't need a reference, but for those who do need it, the Yakuza is basically the Japanese equivalent of the Mafia.**

 **(3): I am SOOOOO sorry for dropping this dump of dialogue. Just my shit writing coming into play, trying to set up the next part.**

 **(4): Also the bass line to 'Ice Ice Baby'(Ice Ice Baby copied), if 'Under Pressure' doesn't come to mind instantly.**


	5. The Interloper Appears

**My Trip to America is not as Expected**  
 **Chapter 5: The Interloper makes his Appearance**

 **(A/N: AGHHHHHHH! Sorry about the first upload. There was some weird formatting shit. I apologized. Let's hope this time, the same error doesn't happen)**

* * *

The time and the places shifted rapidly. From Yukino's place to my place, day and night, insanity to more insanity, it all flowed to 'Under Pressure'

It all kind of seemed like a blur, with various scene changes, to the point where it felt like we didn't stay in a single place doing the same thing for more than 5 seconds.

Flashcards were made and promptly destroyed, grammar books ended up having a whole lot of blood, sweat, and tears on them, and we flowed through an expansive and varied American DVD Library.

Strangely, intercut with these scenes were some rapid chase scenes with me being on the run from... Hiratsuka-sensei? I think I said something to her at some point, and that led to some very strange scenes of chases, with a lot of me chased on my bicycle with her driving a car when she probably shouldn't because of her excessive drinking, **(1)**

And suddenly, the montage came to an end, the last scene being me signing an apparent mock test for Komachi, for good luck, of course.(As she said, the practice test had to be hidden in order for me to sign.)  
I've learned two things from this montage. English, and that 'Love, Actually' is a really, really, really shitty movie.

"Onii-chan!" Komachi called out "I'm going to head to the library for a couple of hours to study with some friend!"

"Alright, stay safe. And if you are hanging out with that Taishi Kawasaki kid, just know he's going to get his ass kicked if he dares make a move on you."

"Don't worry, he's too shy to make a move."

"He better be."

And with that, she left. It was now just me and Yukino at my place. To celebrate the great accomplishment of learning the demon language, Yukino was making me a cake.

"Hachiman."

"Yes, Yukino?"

"I think this cake proves that I don't need fancy kitchen equipment to make good food." **(2)  
**  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Are you still salty that you lost that competition by default, rather than on merit?"

"Not at all, because we both know that the only decent thing you can make here is instaramen, Hikigoteggonhisface-kun."

"Whatever. Think what you want. As long as Komachi is satisfied by my cooking, that's all that matters."

"That kind of talk would be enough to make a weaker woman jealous."

"Oh come on. You know that I lo-"

Suddenly, a scream came about from outside. It sounded like...

"Komachi?!"

Yukino and I went outside to see my sister crying near a smallish flame on the ground, and a tall man standing on the other side of the flame. I couldn't see much of him in the night, but I saw a wicked grin, his teeth illuminated by the fire.

"Komachi, are you okay?" I asked my dear sister.

She didn't reply, and just ran off. I turned my attention to the man who apparently made my sister cry.

"What the hell, man?" I was fuming. "Why the hell did you make my sister cry?!"

The man walked towards me, his hand outstretched. Once he got close to me, I mustered all of my rage, and all of my knowledge from 'Rocky', and gave him a nice big haymaker to the jaw. From the outside light of my house, I could see some blood had been spilt from that punch.

 _'Damn. I'm not bad.'_

"Is that any way to treat your future father-in-law?" The man sprouted from his bloody mouth

Yukino facepalmed.

"Oh God no..." She muttered

"Wait... Yukino... Is this... your father?!"

"I'll answer for my daughter. Yes, I am Kunchiro Yukinoshita, a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist **(3)**. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Yukino... Is this true?"

"Yeah... All except for the Playboy part. If he cheated on mom, he knows that his balls would probably end up in a vice."

"Yeah... Your mother is quite the woman, huh?"

"Alright, so I just punched my girlfriend's father... And is everyone okay with this?"

"It's nice to know my future son-in-law has some balls. Just don't try that shit again on me, because I will tell you, I know boxing, and have been trained from the very best."

"Is that true, Yukino?"

"If by that, you mean watching Rocky, going to Philadelphia, and finding the first old Jewish boxing trainer you see to train with, then yeah, sure, my father knows boxing."

"It's more impressive than it sounds, I'll tell you."

"Alright, I'll accept that. Then to my second question: Why the hell did you make my sister cry?"

"Well, to put it shortly, you should probably look out for what your sister has you sign."

"...What? It was a good luck charm, though."

"If by good luck, you mean giving your forever alone Japanese language teacher a good team groom then yeah, it was a good luck charm."

"I don't follow..."

"Your sister tricked you. It was a marriage license for you to get married to your Japanese language teacher."

"But... why?"

"I'm not sure myself. Maybe she thinks you're going too slowly with Yukino. I happen to agree with her on that."

"DAD, NO. THAT'S ENOUGH." Yukino chimed in.

"So rude to your father. You'll end up just like Haruno at this rate."

Yukino was seeming with rage.

"Well, let's not stand out here forever. Let's eat some cake."

"How do you know there was cake?"

"I'll tell you once I have a bit more cake and alcohol in my belly."

We were at the table now, with Yukino silently stabbing her cake to bits, and Yukino's dad rummaging through the cake like a madman and just devouring his pocket flask of Sake.

"Damn Yukino! I always knew you were a good cook, but you're just killing it today! Hachiman, you really got a good steal, buddy!"

Yukino remained silent, a scowl etched on her face.

"I'll repeat my question to you, Mr. Yukinoshita-"

"Please, call me Kunchiro. Or, better yet, call me Dad."

I ignored what he said.

"How did you know there was cake?"

"Oh, that was simple. I've been watching you two ever since the beginning of your relationship."

"WHAT?!" Me and Yukino both exclaimed.

"Yup. The whole time."

"What... What do you define as the beginning?"

"Oh, well, I don't remember. Six months? Actually, was it when you guys were the first two in the Service Club? Or perhaps it was when Suzaku really fucked up Hachiman bad with the family Toyota..."

"DAD."

"Although I still have no clue what happened to that Yui girl. I always knew she was trouble, though. She was just in the way of this perfect pairing."

"Dad. Would you please shut up?"

"Fine, if you guys tell me what happened to Yui."

"It's a long story."

"Well, I'm drunk now, so I can't guarantee I'll pay attention to all of it. But please, continue on with how Yui is gone."

"We weren't talking about it to begin with."

"Ah, whatever."

* * *

 **A/N: That was a longer time between chapters than I wanted, but it was spent thinking over various details. I still haven't decided if next chapter will be the explaining of what happened to Yui or if that is best saved for later. Special thanks for Weewah, who allowed me to alter the canon of his story for this chapter. Thank you SO much, and keep on trying to muck the shipping waters with Kawasaki!  
**  
 **And thank you all for reading this story, especially the ones who follow, favorite, and review. You are GREATLY appreciated. Also, because the site seems to have a few errors, I can't look at the viewership stats as normal to see just how far spread the fanfiction is read, but I'm sure it is amazing as always!  
**  
 **(1): This is a reference to a story by another writer who's much better than me, weewah, called 'The Christmas Adventure of the Eternally Absent God'. So, this story becomes semi-canon in my universe, although there are elements of that story which aren't possible in this story, like the presence of Yui(I promise, there will be an explanation for her in the future). Also, this chapter contains a large spoiler for that story,so if you want to enjoy that story, you might want to get out of here and read that, then come back here. Don't worry. I'll still be here.  
**  
 **(2): CALLBACK! This is the first of hopefully a large amount of callbacks to the story this one is a sequel to, 'It Happened in One Night'. Because these stories have to be SOMEHOW connected.  
**  
 **(3): A reference to the 2012 monumental blockbuster, 'The Avengers'.**


	6. The Continuing Story

**My Trip to America is not as Expected**

 **Chapter 6: The Continuing Story of Yui Yuigahama(1)**

* * *

I started explaining the story to Yukino's father, who, for being hammered beyond belief, seemed(Keyword: seemed) to be paying very, very close attention to me.

"It all started six months ago, right before Yukino and I started dating. The Service Club was having a competition on who could make the best soup for my then-sick sister, Komachi, who you probably emotionally scarred for life earlier YOU GODDAMN DIRTY SPINELESS SADIST ASSHOLE."

"Hachiman!"

"Sorry Yukino, just... Had to let off some steam there."

In reality, my steam was actually starting to multiply inside me. I was then thinking of very... Warped situations that, if I were a masked man who fights for social justice, would put this cretin through. **(2)**

Luckily, it seemed now as though Yukino's father now had his head in a pile of his own vomit on the table, so it seems as though there is some consolation in this situation.

Yukino facepalmed.

"Dad... Oh God, why..."

"It's OK Yukino. We now have the perfect opportunity to leave your father for dead, only to be saved by an industrialized police force who transform him into a badass cyborg whose only purpose in life is to enact justice. Maybe then will we get your useless father to do good in the world."

"Hachiman... A few things on that."

"Alright."

"1. We are not in the universe of Robocop. We are thousands of miles away from Detroit, and the crime problem in Japan is practically negligible. The only things we need robotic organisms for is the prevention of suicides, which occurs in way too high of numbers,-"

"Not high enough."

"And to increase our low birth rate. As you can probably figure with my father, he can never assist in either of those things. He'd probably cause those issues to become bigger problems. And second, as I mentioned earlier to you, we cannot knock my father out of work, because our family would go into bankruptcy so fast it'd make K-Mart blush."

"K-... What?"

"So no, we are not going to leave my father for dead. It would be a net negative for everyone."

"But you have no moral objections to it?"

"Of course not."

"Well alright then. So maybe we can compromise on leaving your father with sharpie-drawn cat whiskers on his face right in the middle of Chiba Station?"

A great big smile, one that makes my sour heart go sweet every time, appeared on my girlfriend's face.

"I'd be delighted to."

* * *

As we left Chiba Station, with one less person than when we came in, Yukino had an upset look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Well... The memories of that time came back to me..."

A frown appeared on my face.

"When I started telling your dad about Yui?"

She nodded.

"And when we drew cat whiskers on dad."

"Do you still have nightmares about it?"

"It happens usually at least once a week. I still wake up with tears streaming down my face."

"I can't say that I haven't had that nightmares recently either. It happened a couple nights ago."

"It's so terrible... We couldn't step in and stop it..."

Yukino had tears welling up in her eyes, and her voice was trembling as she spoke.

"By the time we got there... It was already too late."

I suddenly decided to wrap her up in a hug. Now, generally, I'm not a very huggy person, but there are times when even I can have the gall to overcome my reservations, and give a hug.

"It won't happen again. I promise. When she gets out, we'll keep a close eye on her. We will make sure that nothing like that ever happens again. And we will help her overcome this."

She broke free from my shoulder to look me in the eyes.

"Are you sure we can help her?"

"I know we can. This time, we will be open. We will make sure she doesn't run off, like last time. And she will be alright."

A small smile appeared on Yukino's face.

"I will trust you, then. This is now the task of the Service Club."

"Yes. This will be our greatest task yet. To ensure that Yuigahama Yui **(A/N: Japanese name order, because why not?)** gets out of that hospital to resume a life where she can be happy."

"We walked across the street and into the night, at a time where, seemingly, happiness came from sadness.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, a bit of a shorter chapter than what I normally deliver, but I decided to take some more stylistic liberties than normal with this chapter, and the price of that, in order to get it to you all in a good amount of time, was word count. So... Sorry. Also, the last chapter may have seen a dip in quality, so that's another explanation for why the second half of the chapter was more tapered down, and more of a return to the style that I had in the original one-shot and the first chapter in the story. So you get a taste of why Yui is not here... And where she is... Perhaps. As always, thank you for reading! Now that the stats are back on, I'll be able to see if the story can retain a tad bit of readership. And of course, follows and favs are appreciated, and reviews make me squeal on the inside.**

 **(1): A reference to the Beatles song 'The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill'. And no, substituting Yui's name for Bungalow Bill's does not work for the song. I tried.**

 **(2): Reference to the movie franchise 'Saw'. What, were you expecting Batman? Hah! You honestly think I would use up one of my allotted Batman references on an early chapter that just tells backstory? Hah! You underestimate my writing skill. Though, with how this series is starting to sound, maybe I should expect such low expectations...**


	7. Yukino Strikes Back

**My Trip to America is not as Expected**

 **Episode VII**

 **YUKINO STRIKES BACK**

It is a dark time for Hachiman Hikigaya. Although the plans to go to America have been finalized, Yukino's sadism has driven Hachiman from his hidden, usual base and pursued him across Chiba Prefecture.

Evading the dreaded task of packing, Hachiman Hikigaya has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Sobu High's janitor closet.

The evil lord Yukino Yukinoshita, obsessed with finding young Hikigaya, has dispatched thousands of secret cameras into the far reaches of the prefecture...

* * *

*Sigh*

My daydreams, yet again, ran rampant.

 _'This line of thinking is doing nothing to help my paranoia. Damn you, Walt Disney Company, for your pervasive yet oddly effective advertising!'_

I knew I had to start packing for the trip, and soon. Hell, the plane was going to leave in three days! And packing usually isn't something I fear. However, my idea of packing and Yukino's are two completely different things. I learned this in the one conversation we had regarding my packing. Those words that started this whole ordeal are still fresh in my mind...

* * *

"Hachiman, have you started packing?"

"No. We still have ten days to go. It'll be better for me to pack closer to the trip, so I can scout out the weather and pack appropriately."

I expected her response to be understanding, if only slightly begrudging. However...

"... Baka..."

"Eh?"

"What is your major malfunction, Hachiman?"

"Pardon... I don't understand wh-"

"Do you honestly believe that ten days gives you enough time to pack? Do you not understand the importance of preparation for a trip of this magnitude?"

"Yukino... I think it's alright. I've been on extended trips before. I'm sure it'll be fine to start packing a few days out."

"It is clear to me that you do not understand the intricacies of the art of preparation for a trip to America. It is alright, though. I will be your teacher, and will instruct your ill-equipped mind about the labors and joys of this lifestyle known as 'packing'. I will need you to come to my place this afternoon."

"Alright. I might be a little late, though, with.. eh... Writing assignments from Hiratsuka-sensei. I will come over as soon as I can."

"Alright. I shall see you then."

After school, I proceeded to bicycle my ass home as fast as I could. I knew from the way she talked about it that Yukino was going to kick my ass over packing, and I was not in the mood to deal with it.

I was sitting at my desk, watching the latest episode of 'One Punch Man' on my computer when I heard a knock at the front door.

 _'Hmm... Komachi is supposed to be out late studying with some friends at school, and even if she did come home, there's no reason for her to knock_.'

As quickly as the knocking came, it went.

 _'Huh. The Mormons aren't nearly as persistent as usual today.'_

Suddenly, I heard the front door open.

 _'Wait... No... That can't be...'_

I walked out of my room and into the living room, and I see a suitcase awaiting me. This suitcase was accompanied by a woman whose face looked both worried yet menacing at the same time.

"Oh, Hachiman dear. I noticed you were taking a while coming to my place. I hope you don't mind. I just let myself in."

 _'Damn. Giving my girlfriend the key to my house isn't leading to the kinds of encounters that I kind of hoped would be happening.'_

"That's fine, and understandable. So what's up with the suitcase?"

"I think we both know what's up with the suitcase."

I gulped.

"Well... I suddenly got the urge to go to the restroom. You mind if I go for a second?"

"Go ahead. I'll be waiting for you."

I went to the bathroom, and immediately made my preparations to escape.

Yes, the day I had been prepared for since my middle school days has finally occurred. I am being hunted by a demented yandere.

I checked under the sink.

 _'Yes, the case is all here. I'll be good for a week. I think by then, I'll actually have to pack, and I may actually appreciate Yukino's dark packing ways.'_

I made my escape through the window in the bathroom, and rode my bicycle back to Sobu High.

 _'Yes... The emergency key Hiratsuka-sensei gave to me for if she ever got drunk too late and forgot to grab her stuff will prove to be my salvation.'_

Inside the school, I found the closet. It is secluded, and has been abandoned ever since the janitor quit over a tiff over salary.

My plan was that I would attend class, and immediately after, with my stealth skills maxed out, I would sneak into the closet and spend the rest of my day, and my night there.

 _'Forgive me, Komachi! Onii-chan will be back as soon as he can!'_

* * *

I had reached the seventh day, the last I was prepared for.

 _'I really should see Yukino. Hell, she's probably dating Hayama now, me being out of commission for this long. He deserves it though. He's dreamy, and perfect, and...'_

I snapped out of my thoughts, knowing that I had been a closet-dweller for much too long.

 _'Man... But I really have gotten used to this closet. It's gotten to be a nice home for a professed loner like me. An ideal habitat. Maybe I'll stay here forever.'_

Suddenly, a harsh light entered that dark room.

A long shadow appeared, coming from a girl whose appearance was darkened by being in front of such light. A human eclipse, if you will.

But I could make out the face of this girl who was staring at me. The face had a look that was a mix of fervent effort and frenzied satisfaction.

An evil smile appeared.

"Yes... I have finally found you."

"Oi. Nice to see you too, Yukino. What's up?"

Yukino lifted a suitcase up into my viewing range that she apparently brought with her.

"It's time to pack."

* * *

The packing was finally finished three days later, on the morning of our trip.

"Christ... Yukino..." I panted "You... Really don't play around with packing, do you?"

"I am a firm believer of the Art of Being Prepared, Hachiman. It can be the difference between life and death. For example, your poorly packed kit you used to escape me only lasted for a week, and I have reason to believe that you were building that up since middle school. See what progress we achieved in only three days?"

"Yukino... This is completely different... I am not trying to escape a yandere by going to America."

Or so I had thought.

With that, me and Yukino left her apartment, without any semblance of fanfare.

"Shall we go to the station, then?"

"That'll have to do."

* * *

 **A/N: I keep stringing you guys along, eh? Sorry about that. I don't mean to constantly be late with updates on purpose, but it's hard sometimes, getting up and trying to write the best that you can. So, as you all could probably tell, I decided to reference Star Wars to start out the chapter. I saw the new movie a couple of days ago, and it has me absolutely HYPED. JJ DID IT!**

 **Eh... Sorry about that, a little off topic. As always, thank you for reading my writing, feedback is always welcome, and I try to meet criticism with some sort of feedback, so don't hold back!**


	8. Their Dreams

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 8: Their Dreams**

* * *

The last dream I had was a rather unusual one, to be sure.

I was sitting in some kind of Congress, or, at least, that's what it seemed to be. I sat next to Yukino, who retained a rather disdainful look towards me. I think the context was that we were running against each other in an election of some kind?

 _'Hah! Me? Election? Never. No way will I be bent to appease the public to get votes. I'll leave that kind of business to people like Haruno.'_

I don't know if that was the reason she gave me such rotten looks.

 _'Maybe she thought I was revolting? No, she thought that back when I first joined the Service Club, and she never gave this rotten of looks to me.'_

The old dude who was running the meeting spoke up.

"For all those who didn't attend the last meeting, please raise your hands and Ms. Yukinoshita will pass out the necessary note packet.

 _'What is this? Middle school?'_

Since I apparently didn't attend the last meeting of the congress, I raised my hand. Yukino handed out the packets to the other people who raised their hands, but she didn't give one to me. And she definitely looked at me with some hateful eyes.

'What the hell is her problem?'

She then proceeded to sit down in her seat, which was, again, right next to mine.

The old dude started blabbering about whatever the hell politics this dream world was going on about.

I noticed there was one remaining extra note packet, the one Yukino didn't hand to me.

 _'Oh, this will work. I'll just grab the packet, and-'_

Yukino proceeded to take that one note packet and write in it herself.

 _'That bitch.'_

I had it by that point. Quietly, I spoke to Yukino.

"Excuse me... I believe that is my note packet."

Without looking up, she replied "Yes."

"So... Why are you writing in it?"

She then looked up at me, and with an annoyed expression, replied

"I don't trust you."

"You... Don't trust me?"

She shook her head. With that, and with my heightened frustration, I quickly snatched the packet back away from her.

"Hey!" She quietly pouted.

"I frankly don't see how taking my own notes is a matter of trust."

She then became salty, and turned away from me, pulling out her own damn note packet, and continuing on. The first thought that popped in my head, one that I don't think the conscious me would say if the situation was happening in real life, was

 _'I think she's playing tsundere with me.'_

I guess some time later, one of the more relaxed and 'cool' people there ('Probably Tobe... Damn him...') pretty much forced the congress to take a group portrait from their seats. Yukino was still salty over the whole thing with the packet, so I wanted to see what she looked like in the photo.

But after the photo was taken, when I went to look at it, I didn't see people there. All I saw were black shadows, silhouettes of the people that were sitting there.

And that was how my dream ended.

* * *

"Hachiman?"

Yukino poked me. I had my earphones in. At that point, we were on the JR Train, heading to Haneda Airport.

 _'Damn, Hiratsuka-sensei was right. These trains really do go everywhere.'_

I took out my right earbud, the side on which Yukino was leaning on me for comfort.

"Yes, Yukino?"

"Do you think the dreams you have while you sleep have any significance?"

"Huh. That was an unexpected question."

"Sorry, I was thinking about last night, when you should have been packing more, but instead, you were dozing away on the couch. I kind of wanted to know what dreams you had, and I got carried away on this tangent on the significance of dreams themselves."

"Oh. Well, I hadn't really gotten much sleep, with the way you are and all, so it was much needed before we get on the plane. But back to your question. My dreams?"

I gave a sly smirk, although there was a small degree of depression hidden in there.

"That's not really a common occurrence for me. I mostly have nightmares."

"Hachiman, don't you dare try to get off this question using semantics."

I gave a sigh.

"Well, in all honesty, I don't really remember the dreams I have, much less am I able to derive any significance from them. Although, I did have this odd dream last night."

"Oh really? What was it about?"

"Well, it was pretty odd. You played a pretty big role in it."

"I have the impression that this isn't a dream that should be discussed out in public, nor one I particularly want to hear about right at this second."

"No, trust me, I wouldn't be telling you if that was the dream I had."

"I'm not sure if I should be relieved or disappointed."

"Well, take your pick. Anyways, in the dream, it was like we were in this congressional meeting type thing, and you were being a real bitch to me because I was going to face off against you in the election."

"Are you sure that I got mad at you over an election, or if there was another typical episode of stupidity of yours that you, out of your own pride, refuse to tell me about?"

"I gave up on pride the moment I bawled my eyes out over something 'genuine'"

Yukino started snickering.

"Oh, whatever. Anyways, no, the dream started out with the meeting. There wasn't really much to it besides that. The most interesting thing that happened was that there was a picture taken of us, but when I looked to see it, instead of us, there was only our shadows. After that, the dream ended."

"That sounds like a pretty abstract ending. It probably has some greater meaning."

"Yeah, probably. I'm not gonna get worked up trying to find a meaning. It's probably just dream, mind hormone crap, anyways. Some more bullshit science I don't care about. How about you? Are your dreams anything to be worried about?"

Reminiscent of the way she first was when I met her in the Service Club, with a superior demeanor, she looked down upon me.

"I learned years ago, back when I still had nightmares, to lucid dream, have full control over it. My dreams are whatever I want them to be."

"Oh? So what are they about?"

She suddenly got very shy, looked down, and started twiddling her fingers with an embarrassed blush.

"Oh... Well... They're mostly about Pan-san... Me and him, exploring the magical bamboo paradise-"

"Okay, I think I have the idea. Still, I probably wouldn't want to lucid dream."

"Really? I didn't expect that response out of you."

"Yeah, even if I don't remember, or if a nightmare happens, that's still part of my mind. It's what i'm thinking as I sleep. Even if I'm not in full control consciously, that's still how I think, and I'm not going to change how I think to comfort myself."

"Huh. You raise an interesting point..."

Right then, the train's speaker delivered its automated messages.

"We will soon be arriving at Haneda Airport Terminal Station. The doors will open to your right."

We grabbed our suitcases, ready to go.

* * *

 **A/N: Wow, I'm happy I was able to deliver such a quick update(Relative to my usual timing). I was really motivated to get this chapter out. Funny story about that.**

 **Hachiman's dream at the beginning of the story was the exact one I had last night, only I was in Hachiman's role. Yukino was in that dream, which of course, is rather unusual. I woke up, and as soon as I did, I made an effort to remember it as clear as I could, as I thought it would be a good event to write for Hachiman, and I decided to write an entire chapter based around it.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, a bit more serious and thoughtlier(Adjective made right on the spot) this time, and of course, I'd love to hear about your responses in the reviews.**


	9. Happy Birthday!

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 9: Happy Birthday!**

* * *

I hate crowds. A lot of times, they are a result of the stupid innate psychological trends of some (Scratch that, pretty much all) people that cause them to slow down, and cause a massive domino effect over the entire population behind them. If they'd just resist their primitive urges and carried on, everything would just go a lot faster. Or maybe some of the people are just slow in general.

 _'Whatever it is, fuck them.'_

Alternatively, a crowd can be caused by incompetence by the people who are servicing a crowd, either because they don't know how to do their own jobs, or they're just too slow in doing it.

 _'Whatever it is, fuck them.'_

Yet another reason for a human wasteland is that too many people are rushing to get through too small of a space, making it physically impossible for things to go fast. The fault for this lies either with the people for crowding a space all at one time, instead of staggering their schedules a bit to avoid the aforementioned human traffic, or it is the fault of urban engineers and architects, for failing to design a structure that accommodates the entering mass of people.

 _'Whatever it is, fuck them.'_

As luck would have it, I was situated in the intersection of all three of these terrible human situations. The crowd to end all crowds. The boiling point of my hatred for humanity.

Yes, I was stuck in security at Haneda Airport.

The line there moved at the speed of molasses. Yukino and I were stuck in the sweaty cesspool of rushing salarymen, crying toddlers, and people who are unfamiliar with the concept of hygiene.

At least, I had thought that we were braving this storm together. But as I took my attention away from the scourge of humanity, I realized that I actually hadn't seen Yukino since I had entered security.

 _'Oh Shit... I lost Yukino at security? I will not hear the end of it when I find her. I'm pretty sure I just failed some kind of boyfriend obligation...'_

I had to make a decision. Do I try to wade through the crowd of people, subjecting myself to the scorn they will surely throw at me for 'cutting', to find Yukino? Or do I go through the line and wait for her after?

 _'Yukino has most definitely been through security plenty of times with all of her past trips abroad. She's not helpless. I'm sure she can make it through.'_

Thus, I decided to brave the security line alone, and hoped that Yukino had the good sense to do the same.

Although this seemed like the easier of the two options, trust me, it was no pleasure cruise. Without Yukino to chide me for my grumbling, in the process snapping me out of it so I could focus my energy on great comebacks, I instead only had the dregs of humanity to focus on.

It took all the control and patience I had grown throughout my school days to not curse out neither the security people nor the incompetent people in front of me.

After what seemed like an eternity, the torture test probably given by some sadist God of my universe was over.

What awaited me after Hell gave me a swell of emotions, ranging from relief to the desire to unleash all of my pent-up rage, as right after the security checkpoint was a bench, currently occupied by Yukino Yukinoshita and her carry-on baggage.

"I was wondering where you were, Hachiman. You look pretty rough."

Yukino cleared off some space on the bench in order to give me a space to sit, an offer I gladly accepted.

"I have been through a lot in my life that really drew out my penchant for silent rage. But this airport security, and the crowd that came with it, almost made me go berserk. Do you remember Sagami from the Cultural Festival before this past one?"

"Of course I do. That was the worst managed Cultural Festival in Sobu High history."

"Her incompetence was nothing in comparison to these security people. I was so ready to tell them off. It would have been so much worse than when i roasted Sagami. Fortunately, since then, I have developed a bit more patience, and I think I maintained my composure pretty well."

"Hachiman, your forehead vain has been popping out since the moment you got out of security, and likely a while before then, before I saw you. That doesn't really qualify as 'maintaining your composure'."

"For something as emblematic for my overall hatred of society, the fact that I didn't straight up leave and go back home to eat instant ramen and curl up in my bed means that I maintained my composure. By the way, where were you during all of this, and how are you not as outraged by this as I was?"

"There are many ways to answer that question, Hachiman, such as me having a greater ability to withhold my anger towards incompetence, which, by the way, is how I've been able to be around you for so long, and the fact that I don't have such a short fuse, which, evidently, you have. However, these answers don't reveal the greater truth, the true reason for why I am not seething with rage at airport security. Unfortunately, I feel as though this reasoning, for the best, should not be disclosed to you for the simple reason that the explanation would likely unleash your pent-up aggression dating back to middle school."

"What a fantastic nonanswer. I think you have a real future ahead of you in the Diet. But I want to know the answer. I'm sure the reason will be something I can get over."

Yukino gave a sigh.

"Hachiman, how closely did you look at our tickets?"

"Well, enough so that I know what time we're leaving, and what gate we leave from."

"And it never occurred to you to look at what section of the plane we were seated at?"

"I just assumed somewhere in Economy. I think with her credit issues, that's really the limit of what Hiratsuka-sensei can swing."

"You might want to take a look at that."

"If you say so."

I whipped out the ticket from my backpack, and took a look at the seating area.

'Wait... This can't be right...'

"Yukino, the ticket says 'First Class'. Have the airlines finally realized that changing the name of 'Economy' to 'First Class' will fool the masses?"

"Thankfully, no. We actually have First Class seats both ways. If you'll remember, Hiratsuka-sensei didn't buy the tickets herself. She stole them from that guy she dated for a little bit."

"Yukino, you must realize that the last part of that sentence basically describes the entirety of Hiratsuka-sensei's love life, right?"

"That's beside the point. With First Class seats, you get to go in to a faster, less crowded security line with competent guards. I chose to pursue that option. I'm surprised you didn't notice me slip into the other line."

 _'...'_

"So... You're telling me because I didn't realize we had First Class seats, I had to endure the worst half hour of my life with the pits of humanity in Haneda's general security line?"

"Pretty much, yeah, that's what happened."

The silence was deafening.

Yukino spoke up to break the silence after about 2 minutes.

"We should probably head over to the gate now."

"Yeah, probably a good idea."

* * *

After about 15 minutes of waiting at the gate, we were called as First Class passengers to board the plane.

Now, I may not seem like the type of person who is blown away by luxury. That assessment typically holds true throughout my everyday life.

However, I couldn't help but be impressed by the seats we were given as First Class passengers. To walk to the First Class seating area, you had to first walk through the Economy section of the plane, and from what I saw, the lack of legroom provided would probably end my career of bicycling to and from school. The seats had virtually no width on them, so my shoulders likely would have been obliterated as well.

But after passing through the pity pile, the reward became so much sweeter, for I saw just how luxurious First Class truly was in comparison.

With reclining leather seats, plenty of width on the shoulders to not be on top of the person next to you, and practically infinite legroom, I realized then that i had a free ticket to paradise.

"Hachiman, I don't think I've ever seen you so blown away, even when you look at me. I must confess, it's kind of making me jealous."

Yukino's complaint brought me down from Cloud 9 for a little while, as we took our seats.

"I'm sorry, I just never had the chance to lord over the poor in luxury. I think I'm beginning to understand the upper class a bit more."

"Eh, it's alright. This is only the seating of the semi-rich. The truly rich ones would have their own private jets. How you look at economy is probably how they look at these First Class seats. Source: Me."

I gave a sigh.

"I guess I'll never truly understand the- wait a second..."

"What is it?"

"Did you just use my catchphrase?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm pretty sure you just said 'Source: Me', a phrase I practically trademarked my first year of high school."

"Hachiman, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. Your ravings typically amuse me, but this time, I really think you've gone overboard."

Suddenly, the loudspeaker on the plane rang out from above us.

"We would like to welcome you all aboard this NNA flight from Haneda International Airport to Boston-Logan International Airport! Over the next 13 hours, we hope to treat you with the finest in Japanese service! We hope you will enjoy the flight!"

"13 hours, eh?"

I looked around the plane's temporary residents before I continued.

"It doesn't really look like a lot of these people would be the kind to endure 13 hours of anything, much less a plane ride that long."

"Well, it's all about what you bring with you to keep you entertained."

With that, Yukino whipped out a notebook, opened to a page, and added to a list that was already there/

"What's that?"

"I never really took you as being this curious, Hachiman. I more assumed you kept to yourself, based on everything, from your social standing to your overall demeanor."

"Let's just call it me opening myself up a little more to the world."

"You honestly can't expect me to believe that, do you?"

"Take it as you will."

"Well, would you believe me if I told you that I'm currently adding names to my hit list, and you're making yourself a prime contender for addition?"

The concept of a hit list reminded me of a similar monthly list I made of people who I wished to murder.

 _'In fact, I'm pretty sure Yukino was the number 1 slot on quite a few of those lists. Heh... I think I called her 'Demon Superwoman' and 'Blizzard Ice Queen' in there a couple of times...'_

 _'Wait... I should probably destroy that before Yukino ever has a chance to scour my room. Must do!'_

I gave a shudder at that last thought.

"Hachiman?"

"Yukino, for both of our sakes, let's hope that's not what that is."

"You're so boring."

"You sound just like Haruno."

That shut her up.

 _'Yes! I've been cooking that one up for months!'_

"But really, what is it?"

A sigh from Yukino, then a response.

"If you must know, I'm making my birthday list. It's coming up in January."

"On the third, right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Isn't it a bit early to start working on that? After all, it's only the 26th of November."

"It's better to get a head start on these types of things, I've learned."

"So, what are you asking for?"

"A more reliable boyfriend is the number one object on the list this year."

"Ha ha, very funny. Seriously, what are you asking for?"

"If you must know, here, take a look at my list."

Yukino proceeded to hand over the notebook, and I read over her list.

"Yukino..."

"What?"

"You can't just ask for volumes of the 'Pan-san' series on Blu-Ray."

"And why not? Pan-san is easily the most dependable way to raise my spirits in my times of darkness. Not only is he dependable for me, but he is dependable for everyone else he encounters. He is what I aspire to be."

"Why don't you just buy it yourself, then? Pan-san Blu-Rays can't be too expensive for a person with such a good fiscal standing, such as yourself."

"I would, but the only place you can find them is in otaku shops in Tokyo. And I would never, ever step foot into those cesspools. They are filled with lowly, misogynistic perverts. I think it'd be a location perfect for someone like you. In fact, you should be rejoicing at the splendid opportunity I have afforded you, as you now have a valid excuse to go back to your natural habitat."

"No way in hell. I'll go through airport security a thousand times before I ever step foot into any of those otaku hellholes."

"Suit yourself, but you'll have to explain why you are empty-handed when my birthday comes around."

"Spoiled princess..." I muttered, under my breath.

The plane had been moving at a very slow speed, as we departed from the gate. But after our banter, the plane, which was now at the tarmac, accelerated at a frantic pace.

I looked over to Yukino, who looked kind of anxious.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. It's just when it lifts that I just get kind of..."

Yukino had begun fiddling around her fingers. Right then, I felt the lift that Yukino had been afraid of.

 _'Not too bad...'_

But Yukino was a bit of a mess at this point, fiddling around with the armrest, and was tapping her feet at a violent rate.

 _'I think this is the first time I have really pitied Yukino.'_

I decided to hold her hand.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm glad I was able to write and put out this chapter today, of all days. What's the significance of this day? Well, it was mentioned in the text, but today is the canon birthday of our main female protagonist, Yukino Yukinoshita! This is my lengthiest chapter yet, and I think this is the most Yukino-centric chapter to date, so that makes me pretty happy. Also, we're finally out of Japan, and on the plane out! America is coming into view!**

 **Thank you for reading, and all the other wonderful things you do.**


	10. Starman

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 10: Starman**

 **A/N: I updated this chapter's ending a little bit. I realized one part of the dialogue was really incorrect for one of the characters. Fault's on me, as usual and as expected.**

* * *

The answer to my search for entertainment on the plane was looking at me the whole time. Yes, it was always there. And it took me about an hour in before I realized _'On a trip with my girlfriend, on a plane, this is what I should be doing.'_

The thing that I found, the thing that gave me purpose on this plane ride was the television screen attached to the back of the seat in front of me. After I fiddle around with some buttons, I discovered that the screen hosted a vast trove of western movies, names which I recognized but I never actually saw.

 _'Now that I know English, I have no excuse anymore.'_

I dug out some earbuds from my backpack ( _'Loner Survival Kit Item #1: Earbuds'_ ), and plugged them in. I was ready to discover the bastions of western culture without talking to a single American on this plane.

A normal onlooker might observe my actions and say "He's a terrible boyfriend, ignoring his girlfriend, who's sitting right next to him"

However, if they actually took the time to look at the seat next to mine, they would have seen that Yukino had been engrossed in the screen for the past half hour, and was likely watching American-exclusive Pan-san episodes and movies. If they only knew the depths of Yukino's devotion to the star-eyed panda, they'd fault me for not being jealous!

 _'I'm just amazed that Pan-san may actually be a bigger deal in America than in Japan.'_

So I browsed the plane's selection of movies by the directors ( _'The one true indicator of how good a movie is'_ ), and came across a name that was probably mythical in some parts of the world, but had eluded the grasp of the East.

Stanley Kubrick, and a couple of movies he directed, popped up on the monolithic screen. Stanley Kubrick was a name I heard in passing, I imagine, years ago, so I guess I must have been curious. So I clicked upon the first result, Dr. Strangelove, and binged from there...

* * *

I loved it.

I loved it all.

I just had to sit back in awe for the movies I had just watched, from Dr. Strangelove to Full Metal Jacket...

Such great movies.

So great.

"Hachiman... What did you watch?"

I heard Yukino through my earbuds, since the movies were all done.

"The best movies ever made."

Yukino gave an audible gasp.

"Not better than Pan-san..."

"Oh yes... Better than Pan-san. I watched all the Stanley Kubrick movies this plane had to offer. I finally found movies that don't require talking to move the plot along so goddamn always. The use of visuals, perceptions, to convey messages as masterly as he did, especially in 2001... It's amazing."

"Hmmm..." Yukino gave a thoughtful look "I have seen the Stanley Kubrick movies as well, a while back. If I recall, while the movies were amazing visual spectacles, the characters were rather lacking in development, except for Dr. Strangelove... I think you like that movie because you can personally relate to inadvertently causing the apocalypse via Mutually Assured Destruction."

"Wha... I... I don't know how to respond to that, because I don't think what you said makes any sense whatsoever..."

"It makes perfect sense. Think about it."

"No... I'm thinking about it, and that makes no sense. You can attribute a lot of things to me, but I never have destroyed anything out of ineptitude... Nor has it been under the circumstances of Mutually Assured Destruction... Yeah, it makes no sense."

"Sigh... Oh Hachiman... I guess my jokes are of such high sophistication that a mortal with a mere brain such as yourself can't comprehend it..."

"I think you're just covering your ass because you realized that your joke makes no sense, but agree to disagree, am I right?"

Yukino pouted.

"You really don't know how to treat your girlfriend, Hachi. Any onlooker looking at this relationship would classify it as being abusive. I wouldn't be surprised if pretend knights in shining armor attempt to steal you from me."

I shuddered "Oh trust me, that's already happening."

"Really? I am very surprised by that. That implies that people actually had the gall to look into your rotten eyes and talk to you about it. How frightening... For them."

"Who's being the abusive one now?"

"Probably still you."

"Tch. Double standards. I see you don't have Pan-san on anymore. Did you finally get sick of him?"

"Never. I'm starting to question if you know me, if you think my devotion to Pan-san is that fickle."

"Of course I wasn't serious. I sometimes really don't understand your fascination with him."

She looked down and away from me, and in a quieter tone, almost to herself, said "You don't even know the half of it."

'... Odd...'

I decided to let her comment go, and perhaps in a semblance of irrationality, I decided to continue talking with my girlfriend.

"It looks like we have 5 hours before we arrive... I don't know what to do."

"There's an activity humans do when they have 5 hours of spare time. It's called sleeping. Of course, this would be a foreign concept to a foreign creature such as yourself."

"I expected you to have a better grasp of biology and classifying things, given you're supposed to be the smart one at science."

"I'm surprised you know that classification is a part of biology."

"Whatever. To answer you, I'm not tired. I allocated a large deposit of sleep currency into my reserves, and I currently am burning through these assets."

"..."

"You did get what I said, ri-"

"Yes, I did get what you said."

"Alright."

"Well, you normally have a book on you whenever we are in club. I'm sure you probably left one in your bag out of habit... Wait..."

"What?"

"Oh my.. I just realized that we just left the club unattended. We are the only two active members, and now we're going to be out of the country for an entire month..."

Yukino was getting flustered "All those who need their requests taken care of... How could I have been so irresponsible?"

I put my hand on Yukino's shoulder.

"Look, Yukino."

"What?"

"It's going to be alright. Most likely, the only one who's going to try and request our service would be Tobe, and honestly, the only person who can really help Tobe now is God. If anyone really needs our services, Hiratsuka-sensei would probably nag Isshki to do it, considering how she is practically our fourth member, and owes me tons for the free labor I have provided her. Worst case scenario, we handle the request remotely. I'm sure we have the capability and the craftiness to handle these requests solely through the internet. Trust me, the club will be fine."

A calmer Yukino gave a soft, small smile.

"Alright. I will believe you on that."

With that, I decided to search my bag for any books I might have stored in my backpack.

 _'Wait... I did get one book, one I've been wanting to read for a long time, but I could never find a Japanese translation. But because I know English now...'_

I pulled out the Essential Works of Friedrich Nietzsche from my bag. Yukino looked over my way for a quick glance.

Then it became a stare.

Then it became a look of sheer mortification.

"Hachi... Man..."

"What?"

Yukino suddenly snatched the book from me, and stowed it away in her bag."

"What the...?"

"Hachiman, I, uh... Don't believe that you will find much of an intellectual pursuit in that book... I believe, for your sake, that it would be best if you didn't read this book."

"What... What's in the book, Yukino?"

"... Nothing..."

"Yukino..."

"I'm doing this for the sake of the world. Please pick another activity to spend time with..."

Yukino was looking around for a way to take my mind off the book.

"Ah! The screen! The media system here has a great collection of music that you can and absolutely should listen to."

"Oh... Kay... Uh, so what do you recommend?"

"Oh, well, I personally listen to classical, preferably Chopin, Bach..."

"Ah, this David Bowie guy looks interesting..."

"Oh, David Bowie, right, that- wait... NO, DON'T!"

But it was too late, for I pressed on the first track of David Bowie's that popped up, 'Space Oddity'. And once Ground Control made it to Major Tom, there was no going back.

* * *

By the time I finished my venture into the wonderful world of David Bowie, the announcement had been made that we were beginning our final approach to Boston-Logan airport, and we'd be landing within the half hour.

"David Bowie is pretty great, huh?"

"I'm beginning to realize that the worst mistake I ever made was teaching you English."

"Oh, don't be so gloomy. English has opened a new world up for me in the ways of being engrossed in media rather than people."

"Sigh... And here I was, thinking I was helping you, while in reality, I was enabling your regression. I have failed as president of the Service Club."

Suddenly, I felt the plane's landing gear pull out from its underside, and within minutes, I felt the collision that meant we were now in America.

"From all of us here at NNA, we welcome you to America. Enjoy Boston!"

We taxied to the gate, and with our advantageous first class positioning, we were able to get off the plane and into the long white walking hall to get to the gate.

"I just realized something, Hachiman."

"What?"

"We didn't get any information about our hotel arrangements."

"So... Does this mean that we don't have anywhere to stay? Will we have to ride around on buses and hitchhike our way into a place where we can live together?" **(1)**

"I'm sure it's nothing that drastic. I feel that Hiratsuka-sensei, for all her faults, planned well enough to get us a place to stay."

"Whatever you say."

We stepped through the door, and what we saw was the standard airport scene, found at any airport that's not some regional shantytown. The rush of people to find their gates, announcements claiming that it's the last call for boarding, when in reality, they will use the next 30 minutes to herd in all the stragglers, and stuffed seating areas.

But there was something wrong with this scene. Something very different... Something that shouldn't be there."

We walked forward a couple of paces before the oddity notified us of her presence.

"Welcome to America Yuki-chan and Hachi-kun!~."

* * *

 **A/N: We *finally* are in America, and we get a new character to enjoy too, while we're at it. Thank you all for putting up with me as long as you have, and I can't wait to deliver more chapters to you all. Until then, thank you, thank you, thank you!**

 **Also, Rest in Peace David Bowie.**

 **(1): A reference to Weewah's ongoing story, 'End of the World'.**

 **If you're reading this, Weewah, 8mangelion is still on the table.**


	11. Thanks to the Devil

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 11: Thanks to the Devil**

 **A/N: For all those who read the first edition of the previous chapter, I changed the last line of dialog a little bit, because in its original form, it was very misleading... And incredibly wrong, honorifically. With that out of the way, let's begin.**

* * *

In science, there exists a temperature called 'Absolute Zero', which is roughly equivalent to about -273.15 degrees Celsius (Fuck you and your Fahrenheit, America. There's no way I'm doing that conversion for you.). This is theorized to be the temperature that matter stops moving at.

Well, at this very moment, I'm pretty sure that was the point me and Yukino reached. We were still as statues. The sight in front of us, on a normal day, was normally scary enough to send chills down our spines, but on this particular occasion, this day, her presence was enough to make the world freeze in terror.

Her piercing stare didn't help the atmosphere, nor her devilish grin.

It must have been years before Yukino mustered the courage to let out a small, tiny "... Nee-san?"

"I'm glad you decided to talk to your dear Onee-san, Yuki-chan! For a second there, I thought you two died right where you stood, and trust me, I didn't plan for you two to have your funerals this soon into your trip!"

That line was enough for me to step back a little bit.

 _'The gate is still right there. You can run right back into that plane, explain to there that you're being chased by the devil herself, and they'd let me get back to Tokyo in an instant! They'd understand... Right?'_

"Hachi-kun! Nice to see you too! Wow, you look like you've just seen a ghost! You look so adorable when you're frightened!"

"W... Why are you here, Haruno?" I had to ask. I think everyone here knew better than to think that this was a coincidence.

"Didn't you hear from Shizuka-chan? No? I'm not surprised it... Slipped from her mind a little, but I don't think she could forget by the time you guys left... I'm sure by then, she remembered clearly."

Right then, Yukino whipped out her phone from her pocket, as if she just got... A notification?

"Wait, Yukino... You get reception here?"

"Well... Yeah..."

 _'This is our ticket out...!'_

"Alright, Yukino, listen to me very carefully. I'm sure America has some kind of emergency hotl-"

"Oh, there's an email from Hiratsuka-sensei. Let's see..."

 _'All hope is lost.'_

"Read it out loud, Yuki-chan!~"

"Dear Yukino and Hachiman, I hope you read this before she gets to you. By 'she', I mean Haruno. I must admit something that I hoped I wouldn't have to, but in recent communication with her, it has become obvious I need to tell you guys: She was the one who planned the whole trip. See, I planned on using the tickets for myself and the next man who... That's beside the point. Haruno somehow found out I had these tickets, and she made me force you guys to go on the trip. I didn't want to send you two into such a dangerous part of the world on your own, but I had no choice. I had to do some of the gruntwork, while Haruno did other parts, such as convincing your parents-"

"The parent part is not as dramatic as Shizuka-chan says. I simply called in to mom and dad, let them know that if they had any hope of getting me to agree to an arranged marriage, they need to do this. And Hachi-kun's parents..." She turned to me "They needed no persuading whatsoever. They considered it a blessing that their son actually has a girlfriend, and that any woman would be willing to spend an entire month with him."

"Psh. Damn them."

"Wait, Nee-san, you're in an arranged marriage?"

"That's what mom and dad have deluded themselves to think. Hell no am I letting that happen! I will not go down in such a cliche way. I've been hiding out in America for a reason, y'know. Anyway, continue reading, Yuki-chan!~"

"Haruno will take care of your housing arrangements, and to that I say: "May the Kami have mercy on you, you poor fuckers." That's about all for that. And one more note, probably the most important thing: Yui was discharged from the hospital a couple of hours ago. I'm sorry you guys won't get to see her, but I'll explain this all to her when she comes back to school. Good luck, and bless your souls. P.S.: Tell Hachiman that just because he apparently knows English, doesn't mean he can slip by random curses under his breath. I know what all of those words mean."

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath.

"Oh... So that's why I heard nothing about YuiYui from Shizuka-chan."

Yukino looked down, and it looks like tears were starting to well in her eyes. "I wanted to see Yuigahama-san when she got out... What if she becomes distraught because we're not there? That probably is what will happen... I feel terrible..."

I place my hand on her back and rub it "It won't be so bad, Yukino. Yuigahama needs some time to wind down from the high stress of that place, and get reacclimated to the social scene at Sobu. By the time we get back, I'm sure when she sees us, she'll be fine. I wish we were there too, but there was nothing we could do..."

"Aw... You two look so cute together... I almost feel bad now for formulating plans to take Hachi-kun if you were too weak, Yuki-chan!"

"Huh?!" We both responded.

"Anyways, you guys will be staying with me, so get your bags, and come with me to my car."

* * *

We went down to the airport garage, dragging our suitcases with tired arms, and Haruno guided us to a black sportscar, which presumably, was hers.

"Christ, I didn't realize that Hiratuska-sensei wasn't the only one with a nice car fetish."

"Hachi-kun, it's about time I impose some gender roles on you."

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I want you to drive the car."

"W... Wait... What?"

"You heard me, Hachi-kun. You have a girlfriend now, so you need to learn the art of being a gentleman."

"But... I don't know how to drive... I've never driven before."

Yukino took my hand, looked me right in the eyes, and said "It's okay, Hachiman. Nobody knows how to drive in Boston."

"That... That can't be true."

"Yuki-chan is right, Hachi-kun. Literally no one knows how to drive in Boston." Her happy facade was melting away quickly "As a person who actually knows how to drive, if I have to deal with one more goddamn drunk rambling on about the goddamn Bruins while he drives right on the median, repeatedly cutting you off as you try to pass him, I'm going to unleash goddamn Godzilla on this town!"

I was too stunned to express emotion when I said "Okay... Then... I'll drive."

* * *

We got out of the car with our luggage, departing the three parking spots I occupied in my attempt to end my driving adventure as quickly as possible.

"You..." From this horrid experience, I was now panting "You two really weren't lying when you said no one in Boston knows how to drive..."

"Not at all, Hachi-kun. Don't you appreciate your sister-in-law just a little bit more now?~"

"If we're anointing titles onto ourselves now, can I please be called Hachiman, Emperor of the Lonesome Land of Darkness?"

"..."

"..."

"Is that a-"

"No, Hachiman. It was always no."

"You got a real keeper this time, Yuki-chan!"

"Say what you will, Nee-san, but at least I am capable of maintaining a romantic relationship longer than three months."

Facade shattered, Haruno snarled "At the rate you're going, it won't be much longer for y-"

 _'I need to change the subject. Otherwise, Haruno's going to bring about the end of the trip in little time...'_

I looked around to find anything to divert their attention away from the petty sibling fight they had started.

 _'Ah, perfect!'_

"Oi, Haruno, your apartment building looks nice."

Haruno now pivoted to her standard behavior when accepting compliments. "Why thank you, Hachi-kun! I do it all for you, you know."

By this time, we neared the grand, cold, black door of her apartment. Whipping out her keys theatrically(By intention, of course), she unlocked the door for us, and greeting us on the inside was probably the cleanest, most organized living quarters I had ever seen. It even managed to outdo Yukino's room... Something I thought was impossible for any mere mortal to do.

 _'Well, that's because Haruno is no mere mortal.'_

 _'She is the devil incarnate.'_

Yukino was as astounded, if not more so, than I was.

"Wow, Nee-san! This... Is amazing! I don't recall you ever keeping your room back at home when we were younger this nicely. Is it always this clean?"

"Aw, this is my greatest moment as an older sister. Showing my dear imouto the ways of womanhood."

 _'Tch, seems like you've done away with any attempt to bolster a puresome image.'_

"Normally, I keep my place to a decent level of cleanliness, but since I knew I had such esteemed guests coming over to stay with me, I decided to clean up a little more than normal. Got all that, Yuki-chan?"

Yukino was softly repeating the words "Nicer for guests. Nicer for guests..." until her sister snapped her attention back "Ah, uh... Yeah, I guess I understand, Nee-san."

"Frankly, this looks like the playhouse of Patrick Bateman. Should I be on the lookout for white tarp in one of these rooms?" **(1)**

"Oh Hachi-kun... One thing that I always found so interesting about you was your ability to come up with the most out of nowhere explanations for things that honestly don't need them. Trust me, there is still plenty of fun to be had on this trip. I wouldn't want to stop the fun so soon, eh?"

The Sound of Silence reigned.

"Oh, speaking of fun, tomorrow is Thanksgiving! I bought some things to cook you guys up a nice, large feast for the evening. I think you guys will really enjoy it."

"Nee-san, may I make some of the items for tomorrow's dinner?"

"Oh? Are you trying to one-up my cooking to impress dear Hach-kun?"

After a delay came Yukino's response "N-no. Of course I wouldn't cook only for some prideful reason."

That delay though was enough to paint both Yukino's face, as well as my own, a maple leaf red.

I sputtered out "I-i-it's fine, you guys. I-i'll just have a ham sandwich and some MAX coffee tomorrow. I d-don't want to trouble you two with making me food."

But Haruno had become determined "Oh no, Hachi-kun, you don't get to decide this. You never were able to decide this. Me and Yuki-chan will engage in a duel of food to determine which one of us will capture your heart. Isn't that right, Yuki-chan?"

"I-i won't let you down, Hachiman"

 _'Oh God, this is turning into some kind of bad romantic comedy subplot. I did not come to America to get more of this. I need to get away from this subject, fast.'_

"Whatever. So where are we sleeping tonight?"

Haruno gave a grin that came off as both playful and sadistic. Really, only her and dear Komachi were able to pull off such a frightening feat.

 _'Something about sisters.'_

"Well, my apartment has one bedroom, but the couch here in the living room expands into a queen sized bed. So, I've decided to take the couch here for myself, and give you two the bedroom. All good?"

"Wait... You don't seriously mean..."

"Yes, absolutely! I believe you two should take the opportunity of this trip, and progress your relationship to *AHEM*" Haruno made a rather... Suggestive gesture "The next level."

Yukino was now a mess. "N-n-n-n-n-nee-s-s-san... Y-y-you know me and-" she turned to face me, although she had a particularly hard time looking me in the eye "H-h-h-Hachiman a-a-aren't at that... level..."

I couldn't say I was doing much better than my girlfriend. The only reason I wasn't collapsing in on myself like a building with a poor foundation was because I wasn't obligated to speak. So I didn't.

 _'I think here, they call that... The fifth amendment?'_

"What say you, Hachi-kun? It seems Yuki-chan here is all for it!"

"I-I never said that, Nee-san..."

"We all know it, though."

There was silence.

 _'Oh come on. You're going to deny that. Right, Yukino? Right?'_

Still silent.

 _'Right?'_

"Well, now that we know for sure how she feels, we need to know your opinion, Hachi-kun."

I... I couldn't operate. The clearest part of my thinking was probably something along the lines of

 _'Wait so, Yuki- no, that can't be, she doesn- but she didn-... Does that mean, if I say yes to this...?'_

"Hachi-kun, everyone's patience is running out...~"

I gave out a sigh. _'Here goes.'_

"I think it would be for the better if I slept on the couch, and you two sleep in-"

"Not happening, Hachi-kun. There are only two outcomes. You two either sleep together in my room, or you sleep on the couch."

"... So I never had any choice from the start?"

"None at all."

 _'Typical, cruel world. Presenting me with the illusion of choice, when the only possible outcome is pain. God damn it.'_

* * *

"You locked the door, Yukino?"

I chose to have us stay in the bedroom. It served my strategic interests better.

"Y-yes, but... I don't see why it would be necessary..."

"Because I don't want your sister to come in and 'check on us.'"

"Oh... I see how it is..."

Yukino proceeded to lay down next to and facing me.

 _'Th-that's close... Very close...'_

"So..." I imagined that what Yukino was doing with her hands was fiddling around with them a little bit, because she's anxious... Of course that was all. "Do you want to start?"

"Start what?"

"Y-y-you know..."

 _'I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.'_

I felt something on me. A kind of... Nightgown?

 _'Nononononononononono'_

"Yukino..."

"Yes... Hachiman?"

"Listen... This was the reason why I locked the door. I didn't want your sister to try and exert her influence on how this relationship progresses. I don't want you to feel any pressure from her. Don't do anything you really aren't ready to do."

It took all the composure I had to put together likely my last line of wisdom for the night.

"Are... are you saying we shouldn't?"

"... I just want to do what is best for the both of us. And what that is, is what you're ready to do. Think for a moment, and then do the thing that you feel you are ready to do. I'll support you either way."

'God, when did I start sounding so... Adult... Gross...'

Yukino stayed still for a moment. Then, I presume, she made up her mind. I guess she decided that she wanted to snuggle up against my side.

From then on, the only urge we had was for sleep. After all, we did just pull a long-ass transpacific flight.

* * *

 **A/N: I bet you actually expected a lemon, didn't you? Haha, NOPE. This is still a 'T' story, children. Behave.**

 **Anyways, about the story, I decided to delete what was chapter 7(The chapter called 'Enough Jabber'), because it was a very low quality chapter(I rushed just to get a chapter out), and it didn't make any sense with the rest of the story. Also, I'm going to try and finish this story at around 50,000 words, and because I've been writing chapters more frequently(Longer, too), it should be achievable around, maybe, chapter 25?**

 **As always thank you, and thank you for sticking it through a story that didn't make sense a couple of chapters ago. Your diligence will be rewarded!**

 **(1): American Psycho. I need not say more.**


	12. Toilet Humor

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 12: Toilet Humor**

* * *

It was 5 o'clock in the morning when I first woke up from the night's sleep. Thankfully, I was not awoken by a blinding sun or a strange woman who'll insist on me calling her my sister-in-law. Instead, a familiar darkness cloaked the room, with the beautiful exception of a dark blue, almost black skylight sneaking in through the windows.

Sigh...

 _'No matter where you are, whether it be the Land of the Rising Sun or the Land of the Free, there is always darkness.'_

I was interrupted from my emo reverie by soft sounds coming from next to me.

It probably came from the lifeform that clung on to my right shoulder.

 _'Ah. Right.'_

Yes, at the moment I woke up, the fact that my girlfriend clung quite romantically to my person had eluded me.

 _'I suppose this makes me a terrible boyfriend, right? Oh well. One more complaint chucked into the dumpster fire that is my complaint box.'_

If this situation had happened nine months ago, I would have been shocked. Stunned. I wouldn't have known what to do.

Thankfully this situation had happened a while ago. 8 months ago, in fact. Because of that, this is more of a pleasant surprise or reminder rather than an incident that would create a lot of drama, with a convoluted plot of letters, emotional breakdowns in front of my house, etc.

 _'Only one thing to do, I guess.'_

Stealthily, I freed myself from Yukino's grasp.

 _'She'll be fine. If she really wants to get on me again, she'll do it later. She can deal with her panda and cat-infested dreams without me for a few minutes.'_

I tiptoed my way out of the bed, unlocked the door, and went out to go to the bathroom. After all, I really had to take a piss.

Unfortunately, the will of my bladder was not the will of the gods, for I had only realized then that I never bothered to ask where the bathroom was in the apartment.

'Oh hell. Well, this isn't a large place. I'm sure that I can open a few doors and figure out pretty quickly where the bathroom is.'

Would that it were so simple. **(1)**

It seems as though that being the heir to an uber-rich Japanese business magnate entitles you to have an apartment capable of being a labyrinth. That's the best way to characterize my search for the porcelain throne. I peaked in and walked through various rooms, some of which guided me down stairways. A kitchen, a dining room, a game room, a man cave, a... Shooting range?

My urges grew from being a #1 to a #2.

Of course, this wasn't all on one floor. In fact, there were stairs in some of the rooms, guiding me down and up through the complex( _'No sense in calling it an apartment anymore'_ ). I was worn out from the little sleep I had and the exhaustion from the maze.

Thankfully though, I had reached the end of the labyrinth. I had found the bathroom. There was a surprise waiting for me there, though, standing guard in front of the bathroom door. No, it was not Jack Torrance or Jareth the Goblin King. Oh no, I could only wish that it was either of those two instead.

No, standing in front of the door was the woman nightmares were made of. Haruno Yukinoshita.

"You're up fairly early, aren't you, Hachi-kun?~" She framed it playfully, but I couldn't miss the underlying sense of malice hidden in her voice.

"Oh. Yeah, I needed to go."

"Oh? Did you now? Frankly, I had hoped that you would be too... Exhausted for you to even go."

"Is that so? Is that why you built this labyrinth?"

"Of course, Hachi-kun. Why _else_ would I have a firing range here?"

"That's a good question that I think I'm supposed to be asking you."

"Awfully bold of you. Would you like to ask?"

"No point in saying it again, since you've already asked it."

"Oh come on," she teased with her voice "I want to hear you say it."

 _Sigh..._

"Why do you have a firing range here?"

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehe..." Haruno Yukinoshita started laughing. The laugh had a playful, girlish tone.

At first.

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE" She was cackling now, her voice being amplified to the decibel rate of a supersonic plane, and I was surrounded by the noise.

I stepped back in shock. I couldn't do anything about it.

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEH!" The laughing got louder still, and I fell to the floor, helpless.

"HACHIMAN HIKIGAYA" I heard from the person once known as Haruno Yukinoshita, but who now took on the form of a giant, red devil "YOU HAVE SET THIS FUTURE FOR YOURSELF."

The devil spawn pulled out a gun, either from the firing range or from this 'concealed carry' thing I keep hearing about.

I stared down the barrel of the gun. It was over.

Goodbye.

 ***BANG***

The world became shaded in a kaleidoscope of colors, probably hurting my brain more than the bullet that passed through. I saw shapes of bodies, all human, walking. Outlines of adults walking around, rushing to get to wherever they need to be. An urban scene, no doubt. All I saw were shadows though. Phantoms, perhaps. Even these phantoms, like the humans they pretend to be, annoy the hell out of me.

Suddenly, I'm standing in an empty room with sunlight shining in through glass walls.

The exception to it being an empty room was that there was a person staring back at me.

With dead fish eyes.

And the weight of the world hammering the person into a state of hopelessness.

It looks like me.

Except it is not.

It is a me I've never seen before.

He looks older, more weary, more depressed.

 _'What happened to me?'_

Well, the sad sod didn't bother saying anything to me. So I decided to initiate the conversation, in what has to be a first.

"Oi."

"Mm?"

"What happened to you?"

"Life's a bitch. You'll find that out soon enough."

"Let me tell you something, me."

"Hmm?"

"Get a girlfriend."

"...What?"

"They're pretty fun, believe it or not. They really brighten up your world."

"You bastard. No wonder I hated you."

"I hate you too. Just trying to help."

"You don't know what the future holds. I don't need to take advice from my past self about the future. That's just ludicrous."

I laughed a little.

And then a lot.

"What... What are you laughing at?"

"I'm sorry... It's just..."

"What?"

"You've become everything I hated. An adult lecturing on about how I should live my life."

"You're kind of a hypocrite, you know that?"

"Heh, I know. It's only because I care about you."

"About yourself?"

"No, about you. I don't want to become you, but because you are a version of me, it only feels right to have a degree of some empathy for you."

"... This is hurting my head."

"Same here."

"Would you like to get out of this dream?"

"Yeah. I'd like that."

* * *

I woke up with a gasp from that nightmare. The sun was shining through the window, and the bed was empty, with the exception being myself.

"Ugh..." I moaned. I was so tired. Jetlag is almost as bad as humans.

I feel a pain in my bladder.

 _'Oh shit.'_

That's right, I actually needed to take a piss.

I got up from the bed, hoping the labyrinth was merely a nightmare. I looked to my left, and saw something that I'm pretty sure wasn't in the dream.

And what a sight it was.

There was a bathroom right in the bedroom itself.

I grinned, and said aloud "The gods of toilet humor know no bounds."

* * *

 **A/N: First thing, I apologize for the great wait for this update. I started another Oregairu story to diversify my interests, and then I got busy with school, life, you know, the usual reasons authors give for being lazy schmucks such as myself. I hope to deliver you more frequent updates, and not make you all feel terrible waiting for me. Second thing, dream sequences, amirite? This story was always one where I wanted to experiment with a few things(With humor, of course), and this is one of those times. Next chapter, we will finally get the Thanksgiving cookoff promised last chapter, more offhand references to Yui, and more America. It should be a fun time. See you then.**

 **(1): The Coen Brothers's _Hail, Caesar!_**


	13. Thanksgiving For Them

**'My Trip to America is not as Expected'**

 **Chapter 13: Still, It Was Thanksgiving for Them**

* * *

After a piss that felt like it had gone on for 480 days, I washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom, and into the kitchen area, where a vast array of smells penetrated my nostrils, and almost made me forget about my morning breath. Almost.

"Good morning, Hachiman. I'm glad to see you finally managed to find your way out of the bathroom."

I could always count on my girlfriend, Yukino Yukinoshita, to give me such encouraging words to start my day.

 _'My girlfriend, Yukino Yukinoshita.'_

 _'Yukino Yukinoshita, the girlfriend of mine'_

 _'Yukino Yukinoshita is my girlfriend'_

For some reason, I felt the compulsion to keep repeating variations of this sentence in my head, to try and wrap my head around the meaning of it. It was as if I spent so much time in the bathroom, secluded away from the world, that I'd forgotten the basic facts of my own existence, and that I would need to learn it all again to keep the story straight.

"Ah, yeah. It was a rather long time, wasn't it? I must have drank too much last night."

"Oh? I don't remember there being alcoholic beverages, as much as perhaps you wished there was."

"I'm not talking about alcohol. Water, MAX Coffee, that type of deal. Since when have I been an alcoholic"

"Well you're clearly a man of many surprises, so I guess I just allowed myself to consider you in many forms. Even still, you spent a rather long amount of time in the bathroom. I don't mean to insert too much hyperbole, but it felt like 480 days passed since you've been in there."

"Huh. You don't say?"

"In reality, it was more like 15 minutes. Which is still rather unnatural, Hachiman, for just a pee break. I don't know how you could hold all that in, honestly. I guess I will have to hold off on buying some diapers for you, since you apparently have a bladder that extends to where your guts should have been."

"Oh God Yukino, I'm not ready for this right now. At least let me have breakfast first before we engage in our usual banter battles."

"What do you think I'm doing right now?"

She gestured towards what her hands were doing, and that was making breakfast. What kind of breakfast? I don't know. It was breakfast of some sort. A big breakfast.

"I think you mean what _we're_ doing right now, Yuki-chan"

The interjection came from the other side of the kitchen, where Haruno Yukinoshita was also making breakfast.

"Good morning, Prince Charming" said she, as she approached, lips puckered to make her play.

Like hell I'd give her the chance.

I performed a magnificent sidestep, the precision of which came from years of avoiding the school hallway's minefield of potential social interactions. She cleanly missed, and, had she been a tenth lest coordinated, she'd have fallen face first onto the hot stove upon which Yukino was cooking, and the dating games Haruno played based off her beauty would have to be reworked a fair bit.

But today was not to be the day where Haruno Yukinoshita learned to transcend her reliance on physical appearance in order to find her new way in the world. She instead quickly regained her balance after the miss, and turned to face me.

"Oh Hachi-kun, how you can be so hurtful! How could you let your _darling_ nee-san fall into risk of perhaps scalding her face on a hot stove?"

"Risk implies there is a potential negative that could come of such an outcome. I am having trouble seeing such a thing."

"Such abuse for a person who is cooking you breakfast, to begin the great Thanksgiving cookoff!"

"Thanksgiving? Cookoff?"

"Yes Hachi-kun, as I said yesterday, Yuki-chan and I are partaking in battle to win your heart with our cooking. You might have tried to skip this altogether with your strategy of staying in the bathroom for 480 days, but you failed, and it is still Thanksgiving!"

"I'm still not sure what exactly Thanksgiving is, though. What's the occasion, really?"

"Well," Yukino chimed in "it is an American holiday that celebrates the American accomplishment of colonists landing their boat on an interesting rock, which is pretty close to here, and managing to survive by eating some food with Native Americans, who, in the following 250 or so years, would have their land and livelihoods violently taken away by the descendants of those people they helped. Also, turkey is fetishized this time of year."

"Oh cool, so this is basically another excuse for Americans to gorge themselves with enough food as possible, right?"

"Pretty much, with the creeping commericialist undertones of Christmas hanging in the air."

So with that, I left Yukino and Haruno to their cooking. They finished breakfast, and I ate it. They cooked lunch. I ate. They cooked dinner. I ate. They made some dessert. I ate.

"So..." Yukino asked rather shyly "Whose food did you prefer?"

"Oh, uh..."

Nerves overcame me. For even in the time of the food being made and me eating it, I hadn't paid attention of what precisely had been made, much less who made them. All I knew was that they were meals, and they tasted good.

 _'Was there really anything to commend then if I can't even remember what was made? No... It was good, still. Maybe I'm just off my game. It could be the jetla-'_

Suddenly, I slumped over onto the ground. The jetlag and the food coma must've hit me all at the same time. Clean knockout, and yet, saved by the bell from having to reply to a question of which I had no answer.

* * *

 **A/N: It's been a long wait, as you all can tell, for this one. Almost as if it's been 480 days. Sorry for horribly breaking my promises of speed, I'll make sure never to promise such things again, for good measure. Hopefully the next chapter won't be this short, but I hope you enjoyed this one.**


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